on a mission to provide the most supportive, effective, &
empowering recovery tools for survivors

meet your advocate

Well, hey there!

I'm an MSW-in-training with a background in Instructional Design and Theatre. Uh. Yeah, that whole skillset combination? All for the benefit of creating some serious knowledge drops that can ACTUALLY help you heal. 
I'm all about creating the pretty guide that helps you focus on the shift in perspective. I'm here to help navigate the tricky mental space of big emotions. And I'm ready, willing, and able (after 25 years as a volunteer victim advocate) to provide the empathy and support you need to help you move along the tricky timeline of healing after trauma or abuse.
What if we start off with a few fun facts?
Right this way...

I'm Kate - glad you're here

About the founder

Possibility

My Word of the Year

jot coffee

Drink of Choice

children of the night

Favorite Charity

miss sloane

Movie on repeat

goodman & little dude

What I Can't Live Without

seaglass

Favorite Color

A bit more about me...

I believe... no one heals in isolation. The term 'self-soothing' is bullshit. (Oh yeah, and I believe in swearing with fervor.)

one

I believe... in going at your pace and letting your instinctive draw toward healing guide your needs and desires.

two

I believe... in the power of feelings. Some feelings may be difficult, but all of them are good and there for a reason.

three

reframe to reclaim

your advo kate

Why I do what I do

I'm careful about sharing my 'why' because it comes from my background, which isn't easy to hear. So, if you're not in a place where you can hear a tough background story, maybe keep scrolling to check out the other info below.

But if you're in a spot you can hear it and you're perpetually curious about people's life stories (hey, me too!), get cozy and let's chat about why I am committed to your healing.


You up for a story?

trigger warning: abuse & disbelief

NEXT

to tell on my abuser. It didn't go well. I was called a liar, pressured to apologize to my parents for lying about them, and the "matter" was dropped.

And my abuser? He loved that people assumed it was my parents, giving him even more effective cover. He leveraged the 'liar' label to his advantage and in the end, it seemed my attempt to tell only strengthened his power - and resolve to do worse things with no fear of discovery.
Until he died when I was 17.
Thank heavens.


I was 11 the first time I tried

he thought he had them fooled

NEXT

I had been in therapy for years, still struggling to contextualize the abuse. Then, I learned the word 'trafficking'. That word changed everything because it perfectly described what I'd been through.

Coming to grips with how my abuser navigated my public life to put me through private hell has been a monumental task. Even acknowledging it now feels both terrifying and empowering:
My name is Kate and I’m a victim and a survivor. 
I use both of those terms interchangeably because they’re both an important part of my story.
I was a victim and I survived.



By the time I was 24,

just one word made all the difference

NEXT

books, articles, documentaries, movies, and biographies for stories of how others had survived and even healed. I tested every method I observed to see if it did anything to help healing. I needed something to hold onto and that testing pulled me through a lot of tough mental spaces. I had to heal in order to survive. And I had to survive to see if healing could resolve the pain.
I didn’t do it alone, though.
I had so much support - willing friends, adopted family, and truly incredible therapists all offered listening hearts and unwavering faith in my ability to do this big work.
And now?
I’m committed to providing and embodying that support for others.


I survived by searching

this was my quest...

NEXT

... Ensure that no victim survivor has to do it alone. Ever.
... Change the communities we live in so that somewhere in the not-too-distant future, victims can confidently say “We have the support we need to heal.”
... Shine so much light on abusers that the ‘Credibility Complex’ is
smashed to pieces.

I’m on a mission of hope that begins with actionable solutions and ends with successful outcomes.
That mission starts with education. Because knowledge is a tool of the empowered. So is support. No one heals in isolation.
Want to join this mission? Here's how:


I'm on a mission to...

years of healing and now?

Yes, educating yourself is a way to help other survivors. Yes, openly talking about things helps us grow as a survivor community. Yes, knowledge is an empowering tool. Yes, telling your story can stop shame in its tracks for you and those around you.
Choose an option below to begin now.

Reclaim your story

ready to join in on a big mission... quest... thing?

@katerufener

i don't always 'gram, but when I do...